And Severus Snape cried
by DiamondLoveGood
Summary: The war is over. Snape is having a hard time after being released from Azkaban. Remus always observed Snape from afar until he finds what is hidden beneath the sneer. *Slash* Angst, comfort, romance, humor, AU, depression, COMPLETE :)
1. Chapter 1

N.a - English is not my language and this is unbeta'd.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money. I wish Remus and Snape were mine though.

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Remus Lupin walked distractedly down Diagon Alley. When the corner of his eyes caught flowing black robes his head snapped in that direction. It should be his imagination. He had been thinking about the man a lot. Snape had been released from Azkaban after he himself, Harry, McGonagall and Albeforth Dumbledore defended him.

Snape was not walking proudly and erect like his old self. After being bitten by Nagini, Snape spent months in Azkaban. The Wizarding World wanted to blame the last living Death Eater and the proceedings were delayed for as long as they could. They couldn't hold him in face of Abeforth's proofs in the form of Albus' memories, written letter and the unbreakable vow he witnessed and so, Snape was finally released.

Snape looked down, hiding his face between his hair that was longer now. It pained Remus seeing the once proud man bowing under the pressure.

He quickened his steps, hoping to catch up. As the shock wore off, he realized that there was a buzz he didn't hear before so caught up with Snape he was but it was clear now. People were murmuring, pointing and some were downright sneering at the ex-Death Eater. Remus frowned.

'How did you escape Azkaban a second time, huh Snape?' A man asked loudly.

'Dumbledore wasn't there to save you this time, what did you do to get away without paying for what you deserve?'

Slowly, horror started to dawn on Remus as he understood why Snape's posture had changed so much.

Remus had been wanting to reach out but was fearful of Snape's reaction, thinking that the man would reject his friendship as he did when they were colleagues. Or that Remus came by to gloat or felt sorry for him. Now, he really regretted not doing it sooner.

A wet splashing sounded when a tomato was thrown at Snape while Remus was coming right behind him, and it splattered over him too.

Snape stopped and looked down on the mess. He had been hit right in the face.

The old Severus could handle James, Sirius and Peter single-handedly since he was 11 years old and didn't back down from a fight. So Remus was stunned when the man just turned away, ending up facing the werewolf.

They stared at each other for a second. Snape's eyes widened and he seemed to freeze for a moment. His face and front robes were covered in tomato juice. His lips were trembling and his expression hardened when he saw that Remus was behind him.

'Severus...' Said Remus.

Snape moved around Remus as if he was going to ignore him but then he winced and stumbled and the werewolf caught him. He looked around and he saw a man had been pointing his wand at Snape. Without hesitating, Remus took out his wand from his sleeve and cursed the man who fell on his knees. He then grabbed Snape by the waist and disapparated.

They arrived in front of Snape's house as the man held his ribs, seemingly in pain.

'Let me in Snape, let me help you.'

Snape only shook his head, his face down as if trying to hide behind his hair. 'I don't need your help.'

'Severus please.' Remus pleaded. 'I wanted to come by, I just wasn't sure I would be welcomed.'

Snape just ignored him and stumbled towards his house.

Without knowing what to do, Remus observed Snape undo his wards and then enter his house and close the door quickly. He thought that insisting would humiliate the man even more and didn't know what to do. He remained there for a while, then decided to go around to the back of the house. If everything was fine, he would leave, for now.

There were no sounds or movements visible from the windows. As he was contemplating going away and leaving the man to be as he wished, he reached the back of the house and his jaw dropped.

The back window was broken. It was winter and for some reason, Snape hadn't fixed it. Without hesitation, he climbed the few steps and knocked the back door none too gently.

It took a long time for Snape to open it but when he did, he frowned and his black eyes glinted in fury, reminding Remus of old times. The anger was short-lived, like Snape didn't have enough energy to fuel it.

'Severus, why is your window broken? Why didn't you fix it or close it with magic?' He asked.

Snape looked at his own window, hesitated and then just shook his head.

'Please, may I come in?'

Snape just stood there, not able to turn him away but not inviting him in either.

Gently, Remus put his hand on the Slytherin's shoulder and moved him out of the way. 'Come on Severus, let me help.'

With quick wand work, the window was fixed and he covered it with wood for good measure. He had a suspicion that this was made by muggle neighbor boys who disliked Snape, maybe not as much as many wizards but evil children were known to attack the houses of lonely, strange people. Even though Remus understood his old classmate, he knew how people saw Snape. James and Sirius had driven the concept home quickly enough.

'Come on.' Remus guided Snape into his own living room and made him sit gently. He sat as far as he could to not make the man feel crowded and thought how he could tactfully find out what was going on.

'So, long time no see, Snape.' Remus tried awkwardly.

Snape blinked and just stared beyond his living room window like he wanted to be far away from there.

'Are you cold? Can I make tea for us?' Remus tried again.

He was surprised when Snape nodded weakly.

He didn't know what the dark-haired liked so he brought four different types of tea bags, the kettle with boiled water and two mismatching cups back to the living room.

'Do I bring sugar? Do you want lemon?' Remus asked, prepared to go back to the kitchen. Remus himself never wanted anything with his darjeeling.

Snape shook his head and Remus sat, waiting for the other to make his tea before preparing his own.

He saw Snape choose oolong and go for the kettle. When the dark-haired man lifted the kettle with boiling water, his left arm shook violently and it fell. Remus forgot his wand on the sofa and the time it took for him to grab it and try to hold the kettle with a hovering charm it was already too late. The water splashed everywhere, hurting Snape on his legs and he hissed.

'Shit!' Remus whispered, jumping up quickly. He waved his wand, cooling the water on Snape's robes, then started to do diagnostic spells to find where he was burned. Snape was shaking and he wanted to hug the man but first, he knew he had to heal him. He applied healing spells until the pain seemed to have gone.

'Are you alright?' Remus asked, grabbing Snape's right arm. He could see the man was hyperventilating and he didn't care that he might be cursed, he hugged Snape.

'Severus.' Remus began. 'I know you are proud, but I also know that McGonagall and Harry have been trying to reach you through owl. She also told me she knocked on your door many times but you didn't answer. You need help. Even I, as stubborn and proud as I was did accept Harry's help as I had nowhere to live. You don't need to stay there forever, but why don't you come with me to Grimmauld Place until you are in better shape? There are not many visitors there and if you want to be locked in your room all day, I'll respect your wishes and won't let anyone see you.'

Snape shook his head, weakly trying to remove Remus' grab of his own arm.

'Please Severus. It would be easier for me. I wouldn't mind coming here everyday though but think about it. I completely understand why you are in this state. I know what you did for us, for our world...' He sighed. 'For Harry.' He rested his other hand over Snape's shoulder, almost embracing him. 'You went beyond most people can endure and none of us supported you. We didn't know what you were doing and after Albus... I am sorry, but we thought you were a traitor. As soon as we found the truth, McGonagall, Harry and I have been fighting for your release. And we do not pitty you, it's nothing like that. What you've done for us, Severus... You are family.'

The dark-haired man's eyes snapped up and he frowned. He looked stunned. He studied Remus' eyes for the first time and after a long time, he nodded. Remus didn't know if Snape had used legilimency but he didn't care. Releasing a sigh of relief, he asked that Snape gathered whatever he would need for a few days and they disapparated a while later.

0- To be continued - 0

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If you'd like to beta it I'll be forever grateful.

I hope to see reviews before the next chapter, thank you!

Crystal

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	2. Chapter 2

Harry and McGonagall were overjoyed after he floo-called them.

'Damn. Why didn't I think about breaking in too?' Harry said, mirth dancing in his green eyes.

'Come on Harry, I didn't break in.'

As he told them what happened, McGonagall had her hand over her mouth, horrified. She was the only one who was still hurt by what Snape did but after finding the truth, she was trying to let it go. She was just too close to Albus, although she blamed the headmaster too.

'I want to see him. I think it will do him good to know... To know that others forgive him.' McGonagall said, tears in her eyes.

Remus smiled and rested his hand over hers. It was good that she had time to come to terms as Severus would need all the support he could get.

After Remus asked Snape for permission, Harry went to visit him in his bedroom first but Snape only nodded to the wall when he received his apology and sneered when Harry said that he considered Snape a hero and that he would name his son after him.

'Don't you dare to do that while I am alive.' Snape said to the nightstand, as if to look at Harry would hurt his eyes.

McGonagall sat by the bed with a handkerchief on her hands, drying her tears as she apologized and also, gave her pardon.

Snape jumped out of his skin when he felt her cold and bony hand over his and looked at her in fear and shame.

'I always thought you were an extremely strong and capable boy. It was in your eyes when you were a little 11-year-old firstie. I know now that I was mistaken. You are by far stronger and braver than anyone I've ever known.'

She left the room while her old student stared at her back, frozen.

Snape remained mostly on his bed for two months. In the first days, Remus made food and waited for him to come down to eat but Snape didn't. After the fourth day, he started to barge in Snape's room without knocking, bringing a tray of food for both. Snape was angry about it as Remus brought his own food too, but his magic had been weakened as well as his body so he couldn't throw the werewolf out on his ears. It slowly became a routine and Remus even pulled out a few words out of the potions' master with his endless conversation and questions, although he mostly talked by himself.

Snape was adamant he would see no other visitors besides Remus and McGonagall whenever she liked. Snape forbid Harry of visiting him again. The young man told Remus that 'Snape will come around'.

As the new headmistress, she was too busy so she only came by once or twice a month and on those days, the three of them crowded Snape's room by having tea in there.

Those were the only days when Snape made any effort, tried to clean his room and took a shower. It's not that he never took a bath, but Remus noticed it wasn't everyday. He knew that Snape was depressed and he tried to make Snape open up about the dementors and whatever was still hurting him but the man was stubborn.

Remus also noticed he had no energy or drive to do anything. He was just grateful that the man continued to live there so he could keep an eye on him and that no hateful people would attack him while the Slytherin was under his watch.

Remus had an inkling that Snape only trusted him, Harry and McGonagall because they fought for him.

One day, when it was cold out there, Remus insisted that he had a surprise and that Snape took a shower.

'You won't regret.'

'I don't do Christmas, Lupin.'

Remus stopped on his way out the door and turned.

'Oh, you think it's Christmas? Sorry Severus, it already passed. I just thought you wouldn't want the pressure of buying anyone a present and that's why we didn't give you one either.'

In the end, Snape did as he was told. Remus waited quietly on the great dining room in the dark as he watched the black shadow climbing down the stairs cautiously.

'Lupin?' Snape said irritably. 'Why is it all dark down here?'

Remus pressed his lip, holding a grin and waited in silence. He empathized but he wouldn't ruin this for a few moments of discomfort for Snape.

'God damn it Lupin.' Snape's voice had become stronger after three healthy meals a day for a few months. 'Lumus.' Snape said and Remus watched in awe as his magic was stronger too and the light illuminated a good portion of the stairs.

When Snape reached the end of the stairs, McGonagall waved her wand and more than thirty candles lit up all around. Snape froze and even gave a step back.

'Surprise.' Everyone whispered. Remus had warned them that Snape was traumatized and needed to be handled gently. Even so, the Slytherin looked horrified to see so many people in the house.

Remus ran to him as the smile died on his own lips.

'Severus, I'm sorry, we didn't mean to scare you.'

Snape looked around in panic. Arthur and Molly Weasley. Charlie, Percy, Bill, George, Ronald, Ginevra, Hermione Granger, two people who looked like her parents, Harry Potter, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Narcissa and Draco Malfoy, Minerva, Albeforth Dumbledore, Filius Flitwick, Horace Slughorn, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Hannah Abbott, Fleur Delacour and Angelina Johnson.

Remus rubbed Severus arm up and down, trying to ground him as he saw the man's lips tremble. He was worried but didn't regret his and Harry's idea, the man needed to know he was admired, loved and supported.

'Is that ok?' He whispered close to Snape's ears. 'Maybe just a piece of cake and then we'll go back to your room for tea. You don't have to talk to any of them.'

Amazingly, Snape shook his head.

Remus hesitated and then smiled. 'Ok... good!'

He looked at the others and indicated the cake with his head.

Luna made slow wand movements over it and had a dreamy smile on her face. The cake candles were lit and they all started to sing quietly, only clapping their hands with the tip of their fingers to not make a lot of noise. Remus guided Severus to the head of the table where he stood in front of his cake. Snape looked around, blinking furiously and Remus tensed. Then, he saw the dark-haired wizard look down and noticed he was reading what was written in Molly's enormous (an amazingly black, silver and green) cake. It said 'Happy Birthday Severus. We, your family, love you.'

Snape's head hung and the song died down slowly. Everyone was frowning and worried. Remus thought it maybe had been too much. He should have toned down a bit.

'Severus, if you want we can go back...'

When Snape looked up, his eyes were full of tears. He shook his head, making the tears fall. 'T...Thank you.' He said looking at Remus deeply, and then around the dining room, including the others. Many eyes were moist at his reaction.

It was like a line had been crossed and an understanding reached. Charlie, with his boisterous spirit, came for a hug full of back slaps. Kingsley didn't hesitate to be the second. Slughorn finally admitted that he had thought Snape had surpassed him as a Potion's Master when he was 15 but pride kept his mouth shut. Ron apologized for calling him a 'greasy git', which was answered by a scowl from Snape and a slap on the back of his head by his wife. Luna, for some reason, asked loudly if Professor Snape and Professor Lupin were a couple and McGonagall spilled her fire whiskey right on Molly's face, who was the one directly in the line of fire. Molly started to scream in pain as Arthur threw his cup of tea in her face to wash away the alcohol.

Snape only stared at his most bizarre Ravenclaw student as if he couldn't comprehend her for a moment.

The night went on with a lot of food and dessert (besides the cake). After eating a bit of everything, Snape thanked everyone again and made his excuses.

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To be Continued in the 3rd and final chapter

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Review:

Guest - Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this second part. I had fun imagining it.

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I hope to see reviews before the next chapter, thank you so much for reading!

Crystal


	3. Chapter 3

Dearest reviewers,

daarthslytherin - Omg, I Love You :)

I thought about him not having a mission anymore if he had survived in canon, he seems to be driven by it...or guilt. Aww, thank you. Remus is awesome. The comedy was my favorite thing, I am SO happy you liked it. Thank you so, so much. You are so great. I wanted to post this earlier for you but was very sleepy when I remembered. I also remembered late today and am very sleepy but I crawled to the computer because I had to post to you guys. Thank you, Thank you, Thank youuuu.

ThePhoenixandtheDragon - I am VERY pro Snape and he is one of my muses. I have plots coming up all the time, it's just that 95% of them do not survive the initial excitement. I believe I'll be writing more about him and have 4 fics ready but the editing is what takes me so long. Thank you, I am so happy you enjoyed. I just don't think the format and all of Defying Fate is good so I took it down, after thinking about it. I hope you enjoy some Snupin, my favorite.

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The next morning, Remus was preparing the usual tray of breakfast for two, humming happily for a successful party and the great leap in Snape's recovery. When turned and was stunned to see that the man was observing him at the threshold.

'Severus. I thought of taking breakfast to your bed... If you prefer here.'

'You've done enough, Lupin.' There was a brief pause. 'Thank you. If you don't mind, I'll break my fast down here for now on.'

Remus' eyes widened. 'Of course!'

They both sad near each other and the werewolf was even more surprised when he inhaled the scent of soap. He didn't comment on it of course as it would show that he had noticed that Snape hasn't been bathing everyday. He would always stand by his offer and just allow the man to do as he wanted. Snape had gone through forced routine, rules, restrictions, torture and so much more that he thought the man deserved vacation for the rest of his life.

'Do you want coffee or tea?' He asked, getting up.

'Please...' Snape rested his hand over Remus' arm, making him freeze. 'Let me serve you this time.'

The werewolf tried to smile but knew that his lips trembled a bit.

They started making small conversation about the party. Snape had enjoyed and was thankful for it.

At one point, Remus started to laugh.

'I remember teaching Luna Lovegood. She is without a doubt, one of the funniest but strangest person I've ever met.'

'No Lupin. She is perceptive.'

Remus was spreading jam over his toast when he froze. Slowly, he raised his eyes and caught Snape looking at him intently.

'Oh... That's... That's... Is she?' He asked, dumbly.

'I think she is, the question is if you think the same.' Snape asked, black eyes bore into blue ones.

Remus looked down, without being able to handle such intensity. He wasn't prepared for this. He had hoped... Even dreamed that one day... But he thought it would take a long time and wasn't prepared.

'I well... I...'

Remus felt a warm and callused hand raise him by the chin.

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On their first day on the train, Remus was hyperventilating. He reminded himself that he should hide his secret. He was also afraid of not making friends and that others found him a freak. He saw a black-haired boy talking to a red-haired girl and was caught up by the intensity of the black gaze that bore into his. They sat in the same compartment but didn't talk, although they exchanged looks.

When James and Sirius were rude to the boy, Snape had moved away, dragging Lilly with him.

He couldn't help but watch the boy over the years, feeling ashamed for allowing him to be tortured but terrified of what the Gryffindors would do with his secret if he defended the Slytherin.

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Throughout one of the best year of his life, doing what he always dreamed of, Remus tried to befriend Snape. He was excited that there were no James or Sirius this time but it was just not to be. He was rebuffed all the way.

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During Order meetings, he discreetly observed Snape but sometimes he had the impression he was being observed as well but never caught the Slytherin actually looking at him.

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The same black eyes that haunted all his life were getting closer and he felt his heart stop. He could barely believe that Severus might have felt the same and his intense looks now took a new meaning.

When their lips met Remus felt his heart beat again. He has so overcome with emotion that his lips trembled.

The kiss was intense and chaste, as first ones should be.

They rested their foreheads together and both were breathing faster.

'I am sorry for everything that I did to you, Lupin. But you have to understand that I've never trusted anyone and what I felt for you always left me unbalanced. I only knew how to defend myself, nothing more.'

'But you are one of the bravest people I've ever met. I can't believe I made you nervous.'

'This...' Snape pointed to his heart and then Remus', back and forth. 'Is not easy.'

Remus smiled.

'You know that all is forgiven. It led us here.' The werewolf took the other's hand.

'I couldn't believe how you cared for me, how much you helped. I would have been happy enough with that. But the way you have been looking at me... The way you have been cooking what I like to eat and being so solicitous... It gave me hope.' Snape said.

'If I haven't given you hope you wouldn't have said anything?'

'I don't think so. I was broken.'

'I can imagine what the dementors do to people, and you were there for months.'

Snape frowned.

'Black survived them because he was an animagus. But I also had an advantage over them because I know occlumency.'

'You mean that they couldn't affect you?'

'They could but way less than most people. The reason why I broke was that other people in prison said that you didn't survive the war.'

'You were in that state because of me? Didn't you know that we were fighting to get you out of there?'

'No. I was surprised when I was released. Potter and Minerva came to talk to me but you never came. I didn't know you were alive.'

With tears in his eyes, Remus moved his chair back suddenly and fell onto Severus' lap, hugging him tightly.

'I am sorry Severus. I felt so guilty and was afraid of your reaction. I didn't have the courage to visit you sooner. I would eventually.'

Snape tightened his hold on the werewolf. 'We are together now. Finally. Let's let our shortcomings go.'

They just breathed each other's scent for a moment.

'Can I ask something of you?' Remus asked shyly.

Snape pushed back to look at the werewolf.

'Call me Remus?'

'I will if you stop thinking of me as 'Snape'.'

When Remus' eyes widened, Snape waved his hand in irritation.

'Your thoughts are so loud they scream at me. I promise you, I am not trying but your emotions make them very intense. I had an inkling you were interested in me and I also picked up you don't think of me using my name.'

'It's a deal then.' Remus kissed him sweetly.

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I hope you enjoyed, thank you.

Review is fuel,

Crystal


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